Bread Bricks

This past weekend, I got the urge to make some bread for the office since I usually try to make something new to bring in every couple weeks or so. The recipes I had in my newly assembled cookbook (pictures to come) weren't speaking to me. Instead, I decided to make yeast rolls to go along with the already planned recreation of one of my favorite meals at Texas Roadhouse, Roadkill. Roadkill is chopped steak with onions and mushrooms smothered in either gravy or Monterey Jack cheese. I opt for cheese and no mushrooms. Usually, Giraffe gets a sweet potato, so I did sweet potato fries since I do not like sweet potatoes any other way. Now, the arguably best part of Texas Roadhouse is the butter that goes with the rolls. Cinnamon butter. *faint*

So I get to searching on my favorite recipe spots and find this one on All Recipes:

INGREDIENTS

• 2 cups hot water
• 1/2 cup margarine
• 1/3 cup white sugar
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1/2 cup cold water
• 2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
• 5 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 eggs

DIRECTIONS

1. Melt margarine in hot water. Add sugar and salt and stir. Add cold water and yeast. Stir to dissolve yeast.
2. Add 3 cups flour and mix. Add eggs and 2 1/2 - 3 cups more flour. Mix, cover and let rise until dough doubles in size.
3. Punch down and let rise 30 more minutes or until doubles.
4. Make walnut size balls of dough. Place about 2 inches apart in well-buttered 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake in a preheated 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) oven for 30-45 minutes. Brush top of rolls with margarine while hot.
   

One of the cool things about this site is its ability to modify the recipes by changing the quantity and it adjust accordingly. I halfed it and was in for a surprise as I was adding the flour. Notice the second step where it says "add 3 cups of flour...and 2 1/2-3 cups more flour." This did not change when I modified the recipe to half. So right before I blindly did as the recipe asked, I did the oh-so-difficult math in my head.

"It asks for a total of 2 and 3/4 cups of flour...but it says to add 3 then 2 1/2-3 cups more...but...I only needed 2 and 3/4 cups flour...this can't be right."

So I changed the recipe back to its original form and found that it didn't change the directions to what I wanted. Not to bad-mouth All Recipes, because I really do like them, but just make sure you read your recipes thoroughly (preferably before you start cooking anything. I'm still learning that one.) so you don't ruin something that could have been avoided. And no, to answer your question, the gumbo couldn't have been avoided. I don't care what you say. Stop judging me!

After this hurdle, I managed to get the dough to seemingly the right texture before I set it out for the yeast to do its thing. Since I was confined to a time frame, I don't think I let the bread rise as much as it needed to. It rose some, but not quite enough in the end. I thought I was going to be real cute and roll up balls of dough and place them in my new muffin tins to make cloverleaf rolls. They turned out to be little misshapen bricks of destruction. They tasted okay to me. Just a very dense bread flavor. However, I made cinnamon butter! I smeared enough on each roll I ate, which made the rolls not so bad.

Cinnamon Butter

Ingredients:

butter, whipped (won't work well if not whipped...kinda like a man. I crack me up.)
honey
cinnamon

Mix ingredients together until it tastes good. Seriously.

I made two pans worth of rolls, so if nothing else, I can feed them to the geese. Provided I want them to sink all the way down to the bottom of the pond. Or I could use them in place of a softball. Softball season is coming up, after all.

To anyone who visits this site regularly (yeah, all of two of you), I'm trying out a new feature on the main page. Every week I do a Top 5 List a la High Fidelity. In case you don't know where it is, let me show you:


As you can see, it's right above the Flickr thingy on the left side of the page. I just throw something up there depending on what kind of mood I'm in. I'm always welcome to suggestion!

Be My Valentine?

Tonight's the big night. I plan on cooking a gourmet-esque meal for my Giraffe and I'm praying it turns out alright. Lately I've been getting pretty cocky about my cooking abilities because I haven't screwed up in a long time. I've done chicken parmesan with pizazz, sides with flair, and nothing has managed to burn too bad. So last night, the Fates decided to let me have it and knock me down a peg or two. I knew the goodness couldn't last forever.



I've been wanting to make patty melts for a while now because the place I frequent for lunch, which is conveniently located right across the street from work, makes some really good ones. So I do the responsible thing and eat there a couple of times a week getting this patty melt. For research purposes of course. The calories don't count if it's for research. Anyway, I decide on my plan of attack and get to work. I take some ground beef, mix in some Worcestershire sauce and seasonings, and broil the meat. Then I begin browning the pieces of bread in some butter in a skillet to make them nice and crispy. Finally, I sauté some onions and cover them with aluminum foil to make them sweat and become not so crunchy. Everything's going very well at this point.



When it's time to assemble the sandwich, I wanted the cheese to be all gooey and melty, so I popped them back in the oven for a few minutes. I keep checking the sandwiches and the cheese isn't melting like I want it to. Giraffe's thin Swiss was melting fine, but my thicker American cheese wasn't. Idea! I'll turn the broiler on to get the job done. I keep an eye on the melts and check them after a minute, and still not melty enough. I open the oven door again a minute or two later, and my patty melts are on fire. The top piece of bread is completely ablaze, so I very calmly shut the oven door and turn to Giraffe. "Our sandwiches are on fire." We open the door back up and he, because I wasn't doing anything, decides to blow on the sandwiches; however, his "gust" of wind could've barely put a candle out. So I just stare at him and said, "Do you realize how ridiculous you look right now?" "Nope." So while he's laughing at himself, I grab the pot holder and pull them out. The top piece of bread is completely charred, but the rest of the melt looks fine. So we decide to just do another piece of top bread. I get the skillet and butter back out and begin again. Then, to add insult to injury, as I was pressing on the final piece of bread in the pan, hot butter came up through a hole in the bread and burnt my right index and middle finger. So then I hop around the kitchen in pain wondering, "Why I am so inept?!"


After dinner, I tried for redemption. I went back to what I know: baking. In celebration of Valentine's Day at the office, I made red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. I even made little hearts on wax paper to refrigerate and place on top of the cupcakes. I made them too thin, so I ended up just drawing them on the cupcakes when they were done.

Now, I'm spooked about tonight and am working with slightly burned index and middle fingers on my right hand. I hope those of you who are planning on cooking for your valentines tonight have great luck and don't burn anything, food or person.

Happy Valentine's Day!