Sixth Sense Cooking

I've determined that there is a sixth sense to cooking, which not everyone possesses. "I see dead produce"...yeah. That was bad. Moving on.

As you're throwing all your ingredients into the pot/dish/bucket/whatever, sometimes there is a certain time at which you add further ingredients. There's also a window of time that involves gastronomical creativity. Let's say you're making spaghetti sauce. You've sauteed the meat, added the tomatoes, and...whatever else you add to spaghetti sauce and it's time to season. For those of us who frequently eat Italian food, we instinctively reach for the oregano, basil, and pepper. But wait! What's that? Your Spidey Sense is tingling?! It's telling you to add a dash of...allspice? Some know how to harness their superpower, some do not, and some just don't have it at all. Mine likes to come and go.

I was raised in a house that usually had one big meal with maybe one side like casseroles, hamburgers with fried potatoes, pizza, etc. But boy could we bake. Oh yeah, throw in that I was a VERY picky eater growing up. Mom is a great cook, but due to scheduling conflicts weekly, the only meal we could all ever continuously sit down for was Sunday lunch after church. So when I left home to go to college, I didn't have much in my culinary repertoire that wasn't related to baked goods. I relied on boxes of chicken nuggets, the one casserole that I'll actually eat, pizza, and ready made pasta dishes that you just throw in the pan. Really I just ate out a lot. And gained 25 pounds. Let's not talk about that.

So suffice it to say, I couldn't cook much, but what I thought I could cook was good. Then I met Giraffe Boy, my love of over two years. While this boy will eat anything put in front of him short of chocolate and catfish, he wasn't all that crazy about my cooking. He's a "meat and three" kinda guy. I am a "stuff your face with one big thing" kinda gal. Match made in Heaven, right? I thought so. Till I realized this boy is a way better cook than I am. I've watched him make many dishes and while it's going, he'll start looking through the spice rack. His fingers graze over each little pot, sometimes turning to read the label, and will ultimately grab a few that he feels will enhance whatever he's cooking. I ask him, "What are you adding?" He'll reply, "[Insert spice here.]." Me: "Oh, is that in the recipe?" Him: "What recipe?" So I learned that he just adds what he feels is necessary to the dish. And the outcome? Always wonderful. The jerk.

I realized I possess the Sixth Sense when it comes to baking because that is what I've done my whole life. I can feel when something needs cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, sugar, etc. Funny thing is I don't have much of a sweet tooth, so I bake for others. Don't worry, I only use my power for good. Most of the time. Since people usually go ga-ga over something like Black Bottoms or Lemon Cheesecake, I've been able to fake knowing how to cook.

So to my friends and family who thought I could cook, I finally release the wool from your eyes. To those who realized I couldn't cook and went along with the sham, I hope you don't have any stomach disorders.